51% say that they’ve received a gift for Administrative Professionals Day.

14% say that these gifts have been useless.

Best gifts for Administrative Professionals Day:
- Paid day off
- Gift certificate
- Cash/Raise
- Lunch or dinner
- A sincere thank you

Worst gifts for Administrative Professionals Day:
- E-cards
- Calendars, picture frames, knick knacks and other “executive gifts”
- Cheap flowers
- Obvious re-gifts
- Nothing

31% say that they could do their boss’s job.

42% say that their boss could not do their job.
66% say that they’d ditch their job for salary increase.

30% report that they’ve had to plan personal travel/vacations for their boss.
29% report having to lie or make up excuses for their boss.
8% report they’ve had to do their boss’s taxes.

Other notables include: posting items for boss on eBay, buying an anniversary ring for boss’s wife, working for boss’s friends.

“These are my new shoes. They’re good shoes. They won’t make you rich like me, they won’t make you rebound like me, they definitely won’t make you handsome like me. They’ll only make you have shoes like me. That’s it.”—Charles Barkley

“There are really only two plays: Romeo and Juliet, and put the darn ball in the basket.”  - Abe Lemons

“I’m tired of hearing about money, money, money, money, money. I just want to play the game, drink Pepsi, wear Reebok.” - Shaq O’Neal

“We have a great bunch of outside shooters. Unfortunately, all our games are played indoors.”—Weldon Drew

“The only difference between a good shot and a bad shot is if it goes in or not.” - Charles Barkley

“Any time Detroit scores more than a hundred points and holds the other team below a hundred points, they almost always win.”—Doug Collins

“The secret is to have eight great players and four others who will cheer like crazy.” - Jerry Tarkanian

“Any American boy can be a basketball star if he grows up, up, up.”—Bill Vaughn

“Left hand, right hand, it doesn’t matter. I’m amphibious.” -Charles Shackleford

“Kids are great. That’s one of the best things about our business, all the kids you get to meet. It’s a shame they have to grow up to be regular people and come to the games and call you names.” - Charles Barkley

“They say that nobody is perfect. Then they tell you practice makes perfect. I wish they’d make up their minds.”—Wilt Chamberlain

Q: Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick’s Day?
A: Real rocks are too heavy.

Q: Why can’t you borrow money from a leprechaun?
A: Because they’re always a little short.

Q: How did the Irish Jig get started?
A: Too much whiskey and not enough restrooms!

Q: What would you get if you crossed Quasimodo with an Irish football player?
A: The Halfback of Notre Dame!

Q: Do leprechauns make good secretaries?
A: Sure, they’re great at shorthand!

Q: Why are leprechauns so hard to get along with?
A: Because they’re short-tempered!

Q: Why did St. Patrick drive all the snakes out of Ireland?
A: He couldn’t afford plane fare

Q: What happens when a leprechaun falls into a river?
A: He gets wet!

Q: What did the leprechaun say to the elf?
A: How’s the weather up there?

Q: Do leprechauns get angry when you make fun of their height?
A: Yeah, but only a little!