Archive for January, 2010

I wouldn’t ever set out to hurt anyone deliberately unless it was, you know, an important game.
   - Dick Butkus

Most football teams are temperamental. That’s 90% temper and 10% mental.
   - Doug Plank

I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first.
   - George Rogers

Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.
   - Joe Theismann

When I went to Catholic high school in Philadelphia, we just had one coach for football and basketball. He took all of us who turned out and had us run through a forest. The ones who ran into the trees were on the football team.
   - George Raveling

Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent.
   - Dave Barry

Football is, after all, a wonderful way to get rid of your aggressions without going to jail for it.
   - Heywood Hale Braun

Football isn’t a contact sport, it’s a collision sport. Dancing is a contact sport.
   - Duffy Daugherty

I’d catch a punt naked, in the snow, in Buffalo, for a chance to play in the NFL.
   - Steve Henderson

Baseball players are smarter than football players. How often do you see a baseball team penalized for too many men on the field?
   - Jim Bouton

I’ve found that prayers work best when you have big players.
   - Knute Rockne

We can’t run. We can’t pass. We can’t stop the run. We can’t stop the pass. We can’t kick. Other than that, we’re just not a very good football team right now.
   - Bruce Coslet

I will no longer waste my time reliving the past, instead I will spend it worrying about the future.

I will do less laundry and use more deodorant.

I will try to figure out why I really need nine e-mail addresses.

I will stop sending e-mails to my spouse. I will make every effort to actually talk to them instead.

I will stop being such a clock-watcher.

I resolve to work with neglected children — my own.

I will stop sending e-mail, instant messages, facebook wall posts, and be on the phone at the same time with the same person.

I will spend less than one hour a day on the Internet. This, of course, will be hard to estimate since I’m not a clock watcher.

I will stop considering other people’s feelings when they so obviously don’t consider mine - if that unwashed fellow sits next to me again, I’ll tell him he stinks, and offer up my ‘more deodorant in 2010‘ initiative.

Upon further review of this list, I will be more imaginative.

This is a specially formulated diet designed to help you cope with the stress that builds during the day. I have found that this really works!!

BREAKFAST
* 1 Grapefruit
* 1 slice whole-wheat toast
* 1 cup skim milk

LUNCH
* 1 small portion lean, steamed chicken with a cup of spinach
* 1 Weight Watchers Chocolate Muffin

AFTERNOON TEA
* 1 cup herbal tea
* The rest of the Chocolate Muffins from the package
* 1 tub of Ben n Jerry’s Lard Licorice Fudge ice cream with chocolate topping

DINNER
* 4 bottles of wine (red or white)
* 2 loaves garlic bread
* 1 family size Supreme pizza
* 3 snickers bars

LATE NIGHT SNACK
* 1 whole cheesecake (eaten directly from the freezer)

Finally remember: “Stressed” spelled backwards is desserts”