Archive for 2011

* Hey! Now there’s a gift!
*  Well, well, well…
*  Boy, if I had not recently shot up 4 sizes that would’ve fit.
*  This is perfect for wearing around the basement.
*  Gosh. I hope this never catches fire! It is fire season though. There are lots of unexplained fires.
*  If the dog buries it, I’ll be furious!
*  I love it – but I fear the jealousy it will inspire.
*  Sadly, tomorrow I enter the Federal Witness Protection Program.
*  To think I got this the year I vowed to give all my gifts to charity.
*  Wow, I can’t believe they still make these!
*  I’m going to put this in a safe place so I don’t lose it.
*  I can’t wait to see what this thing does!
*  Look at that. Just… look at that.
*  I really don’t deserve this!

“I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.”
-Bernard Manning

“Nothing’s as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas.”
- Kin Hubbard

“There’s nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.”
-  Erma Bombeck
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“I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph.”
- Shirley Temple

“Christmas carols always brought tears to my eyes. I also cry at weddings. I should have cried at a couple of my own.”
- Ethel Merman

“Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.”
-Dave Barry

“Nothing says holidays like a cheese log.”
-Ellen DeGeneres

“That’s the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me.”
-Jerry Seinfeld

“Handmade presents are scary because they reveal that you have too much free time.”
-Doug Coupland

“What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.”
-Phyllis Diller

“I didn’t like my dinner,” my youngest wrote to Santa, “so I gave it to the dog and she threw up. Please don’t tell Mommy.” – Faye

“Dear Santa,” my daughter wrote, “I love my mommy and daddy and you and puppies. I make my bed and clean my room. I eat my broccoli. I would be a good puppy mommy.” – Dorothy

My 8-year-old said she throws away her school lunches because “Mommy’s cooking is yucky.” She also asked for a cookbook this year. On the one hand, ouch! On the other, hey I can use all of the help I can get! - Kirsten

“I told a boy he was mean to my friend. Now the boy is mean to me but I don’t care because it’s good to be nice before Christmas.” – Sarah

“Dear Santa, sometimes I pee in the bathtub when my sister’s in the tub with me. And at swimming. But everything else is nice.” – Jessica

“Dear Santa, I love you more than my mommy and daddy.” – Mandy

“I’m nice, but my big sister is naughty.” – Rebecca

My 7.5-year-old son confessed that he threw his brother’s socks in the garbage. Huh? – Jennifer

My 6-year-old son confessed he hated his new baby brother. Not because he’s getting less attention, but because he gives him funny looks. - Jennifer

1. This game was first made by Milton Bradley in 1860. Players travel in plastic cars and land on spaces with different instructions on them. In the end, everyone retires and whoever has the most money wins. Which game is this?

2. This game was originally made by Parker Brothers in 1975. Which board game requires players to budget the money they receive at the end of each month in order to pay their bills and other expenses?

3. Which strategy game involves two players taking turns moving their numbered pieces in an attempt to capture the other player’s flag?

4. In this game of deduction each player chooses a person and they take turns guessing traits about that person until they are able to figure out who the other person has. What board game is this?

5. This is one of the most popular board games of all time. It involves buying property and trying to make the other players bankrupt until you’re the last one left. Which game is this?

6. In this game, players use squares with letters on them to try and make words. Each player gets seven letters at a time and points are given based on the letters used in each word. Which board game is this?

7. Which board game involves collecting colored “pies” by answering general knowledge or popular culture questions?

8. In this board game, made by Milton Bradley in 1965, players surgically remove the body parts of a very unhappy patient, collecting money each time they are successful. But if they aren’t, the patient’s nose flashes and they have to wait for the next turn to try again. Which game is this?

9. This game is for two players and the ultimate goal is to capture your opponent’s king. Different pieces on the board can move in different ways and when an opposing player’s piece is within the movement of one of your pieces you can capture it. What game is this?

10. Which board game involves drawing different objects while your teammate tries to guess what it is?