STSA # 63: Back To School!

Early one morning, a mother went in to wake up her son.

Mom: Wake up, son. It’s time to go to school.
Son: But why, Mom? I don’t want to go.

Mom: Give me two reasons why you don’t want to go.
Son: Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me, too!

Mom: Oh, that’s no reason not to go to school. Come on now and get ready.
Son: Give me two reasons why I should go to school!

Mom: Well, for one, you’re 52 years old. And for another, you’re the Principal!

***

Teacher: Millie, give me a sentence starting with i.
Millie: I is …

Teacher: No, Millie. Always say, “I am.”
Millie: Okay. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.

***

When I was 28, I was teaching English to high school freshmen in a school where occasionally the faculty and staff were allowed to dress casually. One of those days I wore a sweatshirt and khakis. A student came in and her eyes widened, “Wow!” she exclaimed. “You should totally wear clothes like that every day. You look twenty, maybe even thirty years younger!”

***

“Jill,” a teacher reprimanded the teenager in the hall, “do you mind telling me whose class you’re cutting this time?”

“Like,” the young teen replied, “uh, see, okay, like it’s like I really don’t like think like that’s really important, y’know, like because I’m y’know, like I don’t get anything out of it.”

“It’s English class, isn’t it?” replied the teacher.