Let us bow our heads and fondly remember the summer that has – once again – passed far too quickly.
Let us give thanks to school teachers who must, once again, go back to work and help our children become productive human beings.
This is from one of them for the rest of them!
The History Of The World According To Actual Grade School Student Exam Papers:
- Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they all wrote in Hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by Camelot.
- Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments. He died before he ever reached Canada.
- The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we wouldn’t have history. The Greeks also had Myths. A Myth is a female moth.
- Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock. After his death his career suffered a dramatic decline.
- Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made King. Dying he gasped out: ‘Tee hee, Brutus’
- Joan of Arc was burnt to a steak and was canonized by Bernard Shaw. Finally Magna Carta provided that no man should be hanged twice for the same offense.
- It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg invented removable type and the Bible. Another important invention was the circulation of the blood. Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented cigarettes and started smoking. And Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100 foot clipper.
- The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He was born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made much money and is famous only because of his plays. He wrote tragedies, comedies, and hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentameter. Romeo and Juliet are an example of a heroic couplet. Romeo’s last wish was to be laid by Juliet. Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. He wrote Donkey Hote. The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote paradise Lost. Then his wife died and he wrote Paradise Regained.
- One of the causes of the revolutionary war was the English put tacks in their tea. Also the colonists would send their parcels through the post without stamps. Finally the colonists won the war and no longer had to pay for taxis. Delegates from the original 13 states formed the contented congress. Thomas Jefferson, a virgin, and Benjamin Franklin were two singers of the declaration of independence. Franklin discovered electricity by rubbing two cats backwards and declared, ‘A horse divided against itself cannot stand.’ Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead.
The Make Sure the Kids Have Pretty Teeth for School Picture Day Password Special From Epic
The title pretty much says it all … as you may know: you’ve gotta have the special secret password.
Got something that makes you smile? Please, do send it along!
And, here, a few excellent back-to-school links for you.
Big Smiles!
