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My Least Favorite Neighbor (On Halloween)

By Matt Richards

When I was a kid, there was a man on our street who we always tried to avoid on Halloween night.

He was always really nice to us. Every year, when we knocked on his door and shouted “Trick or Treat!” he’d give us the same thing: a shiny, red apple.

I’m sure that he had the best of intentions: dropping that piece of fruit into our pillowcases full of sweets and telling us that “apples are nature’s candy.” He probably wanted to give us a treat that wouldn’t destroy our teeth or keep us bouncing off the walls until 3 AM.

However, after a long night of running from house to house collecting treats in costumes, it always put a damper on our evening to discover that every piece of candy in our bags was now covered in sticky, pulverized apple guts.

I know he meant well. But when we got to be old enough to go trick-or-treating without parental supervision, his was one of the two houses we always skipped (the other belonged to that dentist who gave out toothbrushes every year).

We all want what’s best for these costumed kids. But there has to be a way to keep kids healthy and cavity-free on Halloween without ruining all of the fun, right?

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