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Grocery Store Blues

by Matthew Richards

I hate the grocery store.

Every single time, I carefully make a list, cross things off as I shop, and triple-check it before I head to the checkout lane. It doesn’t matter. Unless there’s 3 or fewer items on my list, I’m inevitably going to forget something vital and end up having to drive all the way back just to buy one thing.

What was supposed to be a 45-minute errand ends up eating up my entire Saturday afternoon.

My problem, I think, is that it’s too many details to manage. Even with a list or other organizational tools, it’s just too easy to accidentally cross off the wrong line or think you grabbed the milk when you really just thought about grabbing the milk as you were headed towards the eggs and then forgot to circle back.

Unfortunately, the modern world is not particularly friendly to those that share my shopping affliction.

However, my oral health is phenomenal. My dentist gives me a high-five every time, even when I’ve missed my appointment and had to reschedule it 3 times with no better explanation than “my brain forgot.”

That’s because, here at Epic, we’ve designed our oral health solutions to work for even the most absent-minded of professors. We believe that a real solution won’t require you to perfectly organize your entire life in order to produce substantial results. An 87-step program that only works if perfectly performed is not a real solution.

But a 3-item list? That, I can handle.

That’s why we designed Epic Gum & Mints with my foggy brain specially in mind. With Epic, it’s easy to get your dentist-recommended daily dose of 6 grams of xylitol: just use two pieces of Epic Gum (or four mints) after breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and you’re on your way to a healthier smile. And if that’s not easy enough, you can supercharge your toothbrush with Epic Xylitol Toothpaste, too.

Don’t overcomplicate your life. Embrace the answers that work even if you’re not perfect.